Unfortunately, these vicious creatures do exist and pose as a threat to contractors, construction workers, Home Depot employees, and boyfriends everywhere. No human is powerful enough to stop one, but there are a few precautions one might take to prevent or avoid impending attacks:
*Zillas enjoy extra ice cream or vacation… they do not like spending extra money, time, or effort on their renovations. Once any of these are added on to a project, take cover!
*Never take paint selection lightly around a zilla. Each and every paint sample IS different. Why else would the zilla pick them out in the first place? The zilla needs a specific opinion that does not include the following: “It’s hideous,” “I don’t care,” or “Isn’t that the color that is already on the walls?”
*Although large and slimy, renozillas are surprisingly tidy creatures! As a result, when they are forced to live in less-than ideal conditions, they tend to get a little cranky. This can lead to many, many unprovoked attacks. If you find a zilla that cannot use its kitchen or has a trail of dust going through its home, make a quick retreat.
*Nothing feeds a renozilla like a mistake- paint spills, incorrect orders, or lost receipts are all grounds for an outburst. It could be the zilla’s mistake, your mistake, or the mistake of a third party that sets it off, but chances are that the zilla will unleash its wrath on the closest target.
Good luck out there, especially those of you completing renovations. I’ve never actually known a renozilla, but I’ve heard some stories ;) . Have you ever come across a renozilla?