Renozilla

>> 9.21.2009

Unfortunately, these vicious creatures do exist and pose as a threat to contractors, construction workers, Home Depot employees, and boyfriends everywhere. No human is powerful enough to stop one, but there are a few precautions one might take to prevent or avoid impending attacks:

*Zillas enjoy extra ice cream or vacation… they do not like spending extra money, time, or effort on their renovations. Once any of these are added on to a project, take cover!

*Never take paint selection lightly around a zilla. Each and every paint sample IS different. Why else would the zilla pick them out in the first place? The zilla needs a specific opinion that does not include the following: “It’s hideous,” “I don’t care,” or “Isn’t that the color that is already on the walls?”

*Although large and slimy, renozillas are surprisingly tidy creatures! As a result, when they are forced to live in less-than ideal conditions, they tend to get a little cranky. This can lead to many, many unprovoked attacks. If you find a zilla that cannot use its kitchen or has a trail of dust going through its home, make a quick retreat.

*Nothing feeds a renozilla like a mistake- paint spills, incorrect orders, or lost receipts are all grounds for an outburst. It could be the zilla’s mistake, your mistake, or the mistake of a third party that sets it off, but chances are that the zilla will unleash its wrath on the closest target.

Good luck out there, especially those of you completing renovations. I’ve never actually known a renozilla, but I’ve heard some stories ;) . Have you ever come across a renozilla?

8 comments:

Heather September 21, 2009 at 2:11 PM  

Ugh oh... I've been a renozilla once or twice! Really, it's the living-in-total-chaos that makes me bonkers. Feeling that unsettled, along with being tired just makes you nuts after a few days/weeks!!!

chacha September 21, 2009 at 3:30 PM  

I think I'm sort of a renozilla sometimes, but more often I am a slave driver where I expect everyone (i.e. the Husband), to work as hard as I do all the time. However, sometimes he's the cranky one dealing with the dust and disorganization, probably because if it were up to him we would hire people to do everything, but then again, we'd be $20K+ poorer if we did, so I just deal with the crankiness during projects :o)

Nevermind when my in-laws were here during our kitchen remodel last October - and there was no kitchen - just unfinished drywall up on the walls. And they didn't understand how I couldn't just drop everything the whole week they were there and do nothing with the kitchen until after they left. That was so much fun (*biting tongue*). That was probably Renozilla speaking then, not me.

change is a good thing September 21, 2009 at 3:57 PM  

Ha! After spending all day at the new condo yesterday tearing out carpet and moldings, several trips to the dump and working on some plumbing issues, I can totally relate to this! :) Thanks for making me smile today!

Debbie September 21, 2009 at 10:48 PM  

LOL, thanks for the smile. :)

Let it Shine September 21, 2009 at 11:17 PM  

Awesome post! Cracked me up!!!
I used to live in Austin (when in college) now in DFW. Great blog.

ashley morgan September 22, 2009 at 2:30 PM  

I love this post! You could have named it after me. I really try to remain calm, but when it's just one thing after another, sometimes you lose it. I cried over paint getting on the crown molding yesterday. Paint! How easy is that to fix!

Kasey at Thrifty Little Blog September 22, 2009 at 2:38 PM  

I'm glad so many of you can relate (...to a renozilla... which may or may not be me...)!

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